Coercive Control and Covert Abuse Awareness for Church Leadership
This presentation led by Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, offers essential insights into coercive control and covert abuse. Originally presented to the Menlo Church Ministers, this introduction empowers Christian church leaders to support survivors effectively. The class provides a comprehensive explanation of coercive control, along with trauma-informed tips and resources for recognizing and addressing subtle forms of abuse.
This presentation led by Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, offers essential insights into coercive control and covert abuse. Originally presented to the Menlo Church Ministers, this introduction empowers Christian church leaders to support survivors effectively. The class provides a comprehensive explanation of coercive control, along with trauma-informed tips and resources for recognizing and addressing subtle forms of abuse.
Video timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
6:10 Domestic violence statistics
8:05 What is coercive control?
24:31 Recognizing abuse survivors and victims
25:11 Impact of DV on survivors
25:55 The covert abuser
27:58 Elder abuse
28:38 Spiritual abuse
30:14 Love and faith
35:29 Supporting survivors
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Understanding Coercive Control California Laws (FC 6320) + the Power and Control Wheel
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV (Women of Silicon Valley), discusses coercive control as it relates to the Power and Control Wheel and current California law.
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, discusses coercive control as it relates to the Power and Control Wheel and current California law (as of the time of this video recorded in March 2024).
The Power and Control Wheel was developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project in Duluth, Minnesota to describe tactics that abusers use on their victims. In this video we discuss how it illustrates elements of coercive control that can be observed in abusive relationships.
Family Code 6320 in California includes coercive control within its definition of disturbing the peace. In California, coercive control is now grounds for a restraining order, which if violated can have criminal consequences for the perpetrator. In this video, Ruth Darlene discusses how FC 6320 recognizes and applies to survivors of coercive control.
Video timestamps:
00:00 The Power and Control Wheel
13:20 Federal definition of domestic violence
14:59 California definition of domestic violence
15:45 Family Code 6320
Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is intended for educational purposes only. WomenSV does not provide legal advice or recommendations.
Covert Abuse and Coercive Control Overview: Part 2
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, presents a two-part overview of covert abuse and coercive control. This second video involves a deep dive into the minds of victims, survivors and perpetrators of covert abuse. Ruth explains the impact of covert abuse on survivors and the motives behind perpetrators' behavior. This discussion covers the pathway to freedom for survivors of abuse, from risk assessment to breaking the cycle and starting the healing process.
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, presents a two-part overview of covert abuse and coercive control. This second video involves a deep dive into the minds of victims, survivors and perpetrators of covert abuse. Ruth explains the impact of covert abuse on survivors and the motives behind perpetrators' behavior. This discussion covers the pathway to freedom for survivors of abuse, from risk assessment to breaking the cycle and starting the healing process.
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Video timestamps:
0:00 Anyone can be a victim or perpetrator
1:21 What do abuse survivors / victims look like?
5:32 Lovebombing, grooming and manipulation silence intuition
7:13 Trauma has a dissociative effect
9:04 Physical DV breaks bones, covert abuse breaks minds
9:42 When is the right time to leave a covert abuser?
14:31 What does a covert abuser look like?
21:23 The Dark Tetrad
31:03 What motivates a covert abuser?
31:36 Covert threats
42:28 The abuser's M.O.
46:41 WEB Scale
54:27 Pathway to freedom
1:17:21 Mental health recovery after abuse
1:22:19 The importance of self-care
1:25:38 Breaking the cycle of abuse
1:34:29 Examples of self-care
1:46:51 Leaving your comfort zone
1:53:36 Thank you to our community partners
Covert Abuse and Coercive Control Overview: Part 1
Join Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, for an overview of covert abuse and coercive control. This video provides an introduction to subtle forms of domestic abuse, detailing the differences between overt coercive control and covert abuse.
Join Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, for an overview of covert abuse and coercive control. This video provides an introduction to subtle forms of domestic abuse, detailing the differences between overt coercive control and covert abuse. Ruth explains the cycle of violence as well as the power and control dynamics involved in coercive control. This discussion also addresses the slippery slope of how abusive relationships begin and escalate over time.
Video timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
2:20 What is domestic violence?
13:19 What is coercive control?
20:11 Overt coercive control
21:52 Covert abuse
29:07 Power and control
1:17:58 The cycle of violence
1:26:12 Abuse and the culture of affluence
1:33:57 The slippery slope of abusive relationships
Deep Dive Into Covert Abuse and Coercive Control for Christian Therapists: Part 2
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, presents a training to help Christian therapists understand and support survivors of covert abuse and coercive control. In this second half of the two-part training, Ruth discusses the impact of domestic violence on children and adults, potential hazards of therapeutic intervention with a covert abuser, considerations for providing trauma-informed care to survivors, tips for helping survivors tell their story and resources for assessing situations involving domestic abuse.
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, presents a training to help Christian therapists understand and support survivors of covert abuse and coercive control. In this second half of the two-part training, Ruth discusses the impact of domestic violence on children and adults, potential hazards of therapeutic intervention with a covert abuser, considerations for providing trauma-informed care to survivors, tips for helping survivors tell their story and resources for assessing situations involving domestic abuse.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is intended for educational purposes only. This training is presented as a trauma-informed informational resource to empower therapists with a deeper understanding of covert abuse and coercive control. Ruth Darlene is an advocate, not a therapist, and WomenSV does not offer or practice therapy.
Video timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
2:42 Impact of DV on children and adults
25:48 Hazards of therapeutic intervention with a covert abuser
43:46 Hazards of couples counseling
46:09 Trauma informed care of survivors
53:21 Helping survivors tell their story
58:38 Self-care
Deep Dive Into Covert Abuse and Coercive Control for Christian Therapists: Part 1
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, presents a compassionate perspective that empowers Christian therapists to recognize and support survivors of covert abuse and coercive control. This training video covers the definition and characteristics of covert abuse and coercive control, with true stories to illustrate examples of real-life situations that therapists might encounter with their clients.
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, presents a compassionate perspective that empowers Christian therapists to recognize and support survivors of covert abuse and coercive control. This training video covers the definition and characteristics of covert abuse and coercive control, with true stories to illustrate examples of real-life situations that therapists might encounter with their clients.
As you watch, you will gain a deeper understanding of both survivors and perpetrators of subtle forms of abuse. The discussion includes an overview of the Power and Control Wheel, the cycle of violence, lethality risks associated with coercive control, the slippery slope of how abusive relationships escalate over time, societal pressures that often silence survivors and the impacts of domestic violence.
We’ll dive into different types of coercive control, including overt coercive control, covert coercive control, covert abuse, verbal abuse, and various forms of emotional abuse such as gaslighting.
Stick around to the end to hear us talk about navigating the concept of being a good Christian wife while recognizing covert abuse and coercive control. Being a good, kind, loving Christian does not mean you have to tolerate abuse!
Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is intended for educational purposes only. This training is presented as a trauma-informed informational resource to empower therapists with a deeper understanding of covert abuse and coercive control. Ruth Darlene is an advocate, not a therapist, and WomenSV does not offer or practice therapy.
Video timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
5:23 IPV Statistics
7:19 The Equality Wheel
8:21 The Power and Control Wheel
9:43 The cycle of violence
12:57 Domestic violence definition
14:34 Family Code 6320
16:29 Coercive control definition
25:48 Overt coercive control - verbal
27:14 Overt coercive control - physical
28:53 Covert coercive control
32:54 Covert threats
38:09 Gaslighting
38:30 The slippery slope of abusive relationships
39:22 DV in affluent areas
40:05 Recognizing and understanding survivors / victims of DV
43:58 Impact of DV on survivors
48:36 Recognizing and understanding perpetrators of DV
53:11 Abuse is the opposite of love
54:34 Q+A
Covert abuse and the monopolization of perception
Join Ruth Darlene, the Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, as she explains the lasting impact of monopolization of perception on covert abuse survivors, illuminating the path to reclaiming freedom.
Monopolization of perception is a sinister tactic employed by covert abusers to isolate and dominate their targets, manipulating focus onto themselves. Even after the relationship ends, survivors of covert abuse and coercive control may find themselves ensnared in the abuser's attempts to prevent them from moving on.
Join Ruth Darlene, the Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, as she explains the lasting impact of monopolization of perception on survivors, illuminating the path to reclaiming freedom.
Biderman’s Chart of Coercion is a table that was originally created to describe coercive methods of torture used on prisoners of war. It describes eight tactics of psychological torment that can also be applied to the psychological abuse seen in cases of domestic violence.
Monopolization of perception is one of the eight psychological torture tactics listed in Biderman’s Chart of Coercion.
Image source: Sage Publications
The full chart lists the following methods of coercion:
Isolation
Monopolization of perception
Induced debilitation and exhaustion
Threats
Occasional indulgences
Demonstrating “omnipotence” and “omniscience”
Degradation
Enforcing trivial demands
What to expect after escaping the covert abuser
Ending a relationship with a covert abuser doesn't always mark the end of your challenges. It often opens up a new chapter with unique considerations that differ from leaving a "normal" relationship. Join Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, as she shares insights on what to expect and how to protect yourself after escaping a covert abuser.
In this video, Ruth Darlene sheds light on the common covert abuse tactics that abusers employ to maintain control even after the relationship ends. She emphasizes the importance of safety planning and provides practical considerations for survivors on the path to freedom.
Ending a relationship with a covert abuser doesn't always mark the end of your challenges. It often opens up a new chapter with unique considerations that differ from leaving a "normal" relationship. Join Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, as she shares insights on what to expect and how to protect yourself after escaping a covert abuser.
In this video, Ruth Darlene sheds light on the common covert abuse tactics that abusers employ to maintain control even after the relationship ends. She emphasizes the importance of safety planning and provides practical considerations for survivors on the path to freedom.
Leaving an abusive relationship can be a daunting journey, but remember, it's a significant step towards reclaiming your life and well-being. Don't miss this crucial discussion that can make all the difference in your path to healing and recovery. Your safety and future deserve the utmost attention. Watch this video to learn how to safeguard yourself and find the strength to move forward.
How to heal from covert abuse and find self-love
Join Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, for a discussion about how to heal from covert abuse and find self-love. In this video Ruth shares the impacts that covert abuse and coercive control can have on survivors even after an emotionally abusive relationship ends. Survivors often face a long healing journey while rediscovering what healthy love and self-love looks like, but there is always hope. Watch the video through the end to learn strategies that help to recover and start a fresh new chapter of freedom in life.
Join Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, for a discussion about how to heal from covert abuse and find self-love. In this video Ruth shares the impacts that covert abuse and coercive control can have on survivors even after an emotionally abusive relationship ends. Survivors often face a long healing journey while rediscovering what healthy love and self-love looks like, but there is always hope. Watch the video through the end to learn strategies that help to recover and start a fresh new chapter of freedom in life.
Covert abuse and coercive control discussion with Eleni Sagredos and Ruth Darlene: watch the video!
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, discussed covert abuse and coercive control with Eleni Sagredos, who is a survivor, domestic violence educator and author of the book But They're So Nice: Unmasking Covert Abuse & Narcissistic People.
Watch this video to learn about common characteristics of covert abusers, early warning signs, prevention, safety considerations and how survivors can reclaim their power.
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, discussed covert abuse and coercive control with Eleni Sagredos, who is a survivor, domestic violence educator and author of the book But They're So Nice: Unmasking Covert Abuse & Narcissistic People.
Watch our YouTube video to learn about common characteristics of covert abusers, early warning signs, prevention, safety considerations and how survivors can reclaim their power.
Topics:
0:00 Holidays and covert abuse
2:55 Recognizing subtle forms of abuse
11:18 How abusers choose targets
15:47 Prevention and boundaries
17:59 Early warning signs
27:06 Damage over time
34:16 Common characteristics of covert abuse
49:08 Safety and speaking out
54:46 Trusting intuition
57:26 Love bombing
1:00:05 Finding community and taking our power back
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From Trauma to Triumph: Executive Summary Workshop Presentation at the Domestic Violence Conference
Watch as Rachel McKenzie presents "From Trauma to Triumph: Executive Summary Workshop" at the County of Santa Clara's 30th Annual Domestic Violence Conference, on behalf of WomenSV.
Watch as Rachel McKenzie presents "From Trauma to Triumph: Executive Summary Workshop" at the County of Santa Clara's 30th Annual Domestic Violence Conference, on behalf of WomenSV.
Created by Ruth Darlene, founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, the Executive Summary Workshop is a powerful tool to assist domestic violence survivors in navigating the challenging journey of summarizing their experiences in a clear and concise manner, enabling effective communication with others.
For survivors, putting traumatic experiences into words can be a daunting task, yet it is a crucial step in seeking support. Recognizing this challenge, WomenSV developed a systematic approach to assist survivors in this process.
We extend our heartfelt gratitude to Rachel McKenzie for leading this presentation, sharing valuable insights and offering unwavering support to domestic violence survivors. Together, we strive to empower survivors on their journey from trauma to triumph.
Join us in this important conversation, and together, let's make a difference in the lives of those who have endured and overcome domestic violence.
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K-LOVE Interview with Ruth Darlene of WomenSV about Covert Abuse and Coercive Control
K-LOVE interviewed Ruth Darlene, Executive Director and founder of WomenSV about subtle forms of domestic violence including covert abuse and coercive control.
K-LOVE interviewed Ruth Darlene, Executive Director and founder of WomenSV about subtle forms of domestic violence including covert abuse and coercive control.
The radio interview is now available on our YouTube channel and on K-LOVE’s website! Check it out at the links below.