Domestic Abuse Survivor Support Groups:
Empowerment Through Education, Support and Community

Benefits of joining a support group

Peer-to-peer, advocate-led support groups might take an educational rather than therapeutic approach to empower survivors with knowledge and understanding. Education serves as a powerful tool in addressing and overcoming covert abuse. It can help survivors make sense of their experiences, realize they are not alone, and learn strategies to protect themselves in the future. By shedding light on the dynamics of covert abuse and coercive control, survivors can reclaim their agency, build resilience and find hope again that tomorrow can indeed be better than today.

Support groups create a safe space for survivors to share their experiences with others who “get it.” Together, participants overcome isolation and begin to build a sense of community and support, lifting each other up, as each individual survivor moves through her own journey towards freedom, safety and peace.

Studies show that support groups lead to survivors feeling a greater sense of belonging and higher self esteem, while experiencing less distress. Abuse happens in isolation. Recovery unfolds in community. Participating in an educational support group offers numerous benefits for survivors:

• Validation and support
  In a supportive group setting, survivors can share their stories and experiences without fear of judgment. Connecting with others who have walked a similar path can provide validation, encouragement and reassurance, reminding survivors that they are not alone in their journey.

• Knowledge and understanding
  Educational support groups offer valuable information about the different forms of abuse, their effects on survivors, and the dynamics of abusive relationships. This knowledge equips survivors with the tools they need to recognize abusive behaviors, understand the cycle of violence, and make informed decisions about their safety and well-being.

• Empowerment and agency
  Through education, survivors can reclaim their power and agency, breaking free from the cycle of abuse and taking control of their lives. Learning about healthy boundaries, assertiveness, and self-care empowers survivors to advocate for themselves and establish fulfilling relationships built on mutual respect and trust.

• Recovery
  Education serves as a powerful catalyst to help survivors break toxic cycles, find triumph after trauma, rebuild their self-esteem, and envision a future free from abuse. By understanding the root causes of domestic abuse and exploring healthy coping mechanisms, survivors can embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation.

Understanding covert abuse and coercive control

Covert abuse and coercive control are often misunderstood or overlooked forms of domestic abuse. These tactics, which can include manipulation, gaslighting, financial control, and isolation, are designed to exert power and control over the victim. Understanding these dynamics is crucial for survivors to recognize the abuse they've experienced and break free from the cycle.

Supporting recovery from domestic abuse

Recovering from domestic violence is a complex and nonlinear process that requires time, patience, and support. This is where a trauma informed therapist can be instrumental.

The focus of peer-led and advocate-led support groups is on education, validation, safety planning and empowerment. These types of support groups are not intended to provide or replace therapy.

Survivors might also want to explore the benefits of a support group led by a therapist with a stronger focus on processing and healing from the psychological, emotional and behavioral wounds created by living in a state of chronic stress, anxiety and trauma.

While each survivor's journey is unique, the following principles can guide the process:

• Boundaries
  Empowerment begins with getting back in touch with what matters to us, identifying our core values and the characteristics, attitudes, core values we are looking for in a dating partner or mate. What can we live with? What things are negotiable? What are deal breakers? How do we address violations of our boundaries? We explore all these areas in the process of learning to establish boundaries that can help keep us safe in our relationships.

• Setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care
  Learning to set boundaries and prioritize self-care is crucial for survivors to protect their physical, emotional, and psychological safety. Establishing healthy boundaries early on helps survivors assert their needs, communicate effectively, and cultivate relationships based on respect and mutual consent.

• Building a support network
  A strong support network is essential for survivors as they navigate the challenges of addressing and overcoming covert abuse. Whether through peer to peer, educational or therapeutic support groups, individual therapy with a trauma informed and covert abuse informed therapist, or through trusted friends and family members, having a supportive community can provide encouragement, validation, and practical assistance, as well as comfort, a growing sense of safety and solidarity and even hope.

• Seeking professional help when needed
  While support groups and peer support are valuable resources, survivors may also benefit from individual therapy or counseling to address trauma-related symptoms and complex emotional issues. Trauma-informed therapists with expertise in covert abuse and coercive control can provide support, guidance, and evidence-based interventions to facilitate healing and recovery. Click here for tips on choosing the right therapist or counselor.

Why join a virtual support group?

Most domestic abuse survivor support groups take place online rather than in person. Virtual support groups provide a safe environment for survivors to connect with each other to overcome their isolation, learn about the dynamics and impact of covert abuse, and develop strategies to deal with it more safely and effectively. Online meetings offer flexibility and accessibility, allowing participants to engage from different locations while fostering a sense of community and solidarity.

Support groups for men

Domestic violence crosses all demographic boundaries, including gender, and it happens to men too! Support groups for men who have experienced domestic violence are available and accessible online. Next Door Solutions to Domestic Violence offers support groups for men, with more information about their support groups and a support group calendar available on their website.

Take the first step towards freedom

Being involved with a covert abuser is always dangerous, but sometimes it’s less dangerous to stay, at least for a little while longer, as she continues to reach out, gather friends and allies, do research, develop a safety plan, and, if and when she chooses, a well thought out exit strategy. Support groups can help survivors make an informed decision after considering all their options, and running their own cost-benefit analysis.